Kk...something/someone..who that
person was I donno was talking to me
softly and the recollections of
certain literal events were brought
back to my recollections. I was
reliving those dark nasty moments...I
donno why but ghesecsre the 3 things
recollected.
1st recall..I was freshly married to
my ex and I was being seed by him and
he was soo violent with me in the sex
act and I was beatened and tortured
physically by him immensely. Inside my
young tender heart was severely
breaking too cos this was a hubby I
once love but later emotionally died.
As I was being ravished and physically
beaten I noticed I was now out of my
body and looking down at myself while
my ex went totally apeshit and violent
all over me...even with burning his
heated cigerette on my high inner
thighs. As i was standing beside
myself yet out of my own body.,.There
was no fear, no pain in that state ,
only and a deep silence all around me
and in me..Btw the exe has also done
far far worse but I'm not going there!
Surfice to say..my ex was a real beast
of a man..a very horrible man! And
that my marriage was literally a
marriage made in sheol/hell!
Next recollection...another time I was
horrible lying ravished,beatened,
defiled and shamed. I was being sex4d
again by the ex and I was feeling like
I was dying on the inside. What was
going thru my mind, my heart and my
body was completely ruthless and
horrible. While in the act of doing
the nasty...while being ravished..a
huge slowly rotating galactic mosaic
pattern chakra appeared before me.
This was way before me having the
spontaneous awakening of the kundalini
btw folks!! I was married at the age
of 21...I didn't have the kundalini
experience till in was in my early
30s...anyways..back to what I was
literally experiencing...in this
center of the huge mosaic chakra there
was a loving man who was not my ex
making true real love to me and my
body...who this tender young man was I
donno. Human, angel ???
In the act I felt nothing but pure
love, acceptance and that the man who
seed me felt my inner and outter pwin
and hurts and its scarring the
violence done to me inner and outer..
and eventually caused life long
scars. The was a very strong presence
overseeing all this as well...very
caring, powerful and understanding..
It was Father G_d showing sorrow and
pitying the suffering I was enduring
from my ex! Hm... remorseful even...
Third and last recollection...words.
'how my children suffer on the earth'
This coming from the heart of Father
G_d and from jesus. My ex was the
perfect con artist, smooth operator
and a violent narcissist! Also my
stupid mom made me marry the guy..as
the hyper religious freak she
was..told me I had to marry in 3 weeks
and that it's unlawful for me to
intentionally be living in sin.. very
romantic catholic of her btw! Once she
dropped her practicing of wicca she
became a hyper religious
christian...just like the pharisees!
Very judgemental, condemning and all
outter so called piety but still full
of inner darkness within.
I swore to never ever b3 like her..to
the point I hated being female or even
to hang out eith women friends. I
hated everything female...and via my
marriage made in sheol/hell I learned
to hate all men as well due to the
cruelty, ongoing beatings and
strangulatings
I endured at the literal hands of my
ex. (My ex tried strangling me to
death..to me becoming
unconscious..right information on my
toddler child! A very sick demented
violent ex I had!!!)
Why these were brought to remembrance
I donno... maybe someone else is
enduring the same type of BS at the
hands of a boyfriend, spouse etc....I
donno... but I'm posting this
regardless as I was being prompted in
the aethers just now. Shalom.
Update..someone out there in cyberlwnd
definitely needs to hear this message!
There is hope and someone who truly
cares.. so hang in there! I endure my
marriage for 7 years! A major brain
fuck in my books!! It is what it is! I
call them as I see and revealed
them...I do not candy coat the
message..I'm not into smooth soothing
words like the Enemy does! I'm the 'in
your face' type and call things as i
see and hear them...anyhoos...'wounds
from a friend' cos at times reality
and the Truth can be very strong
medicine but still very necessary!
Someone from above does truly
understand the situations humans deal
with daily...Jesus and G_d Almighty
are your real friends!
Kk..enough said....
More songs...'how do you
do'...Roxette...why that song..I donno
that either!!!
"How Do You Do!" By roxette...
https://youtu.be/nx2iLOvP0rM
I see you comb your hair
and gimme that grin.
It's making me spin now,
spinnin' within.
Before I melt like snow,
I say Hello
How do you do!
I love the way you undress now.
Baby begin.
Do your caress, honey, my heart's in a
mess.
I love your blue-eyed voice,
like Tiny Tim shines thru.
How do you do!
Well, here we are crackin' jokes in
the corner of our mouths and I feel
like I'm laughing in a dream.
If I was young I could wait outside
your school
cos your face is like the cover of a
magazine.
How do you do,
do you do,
the things that you do.
No one I know could ever keep up with
you.
How do you do!
Did it ever make sense to you to say
Bye
Bye Bye?
I see you in that chair with perfect
skin.
Well, how have you been, baby, livin'
in sin?
Hey, I gotta know,
did you say Hello
How do you do?
Well, here we are spending time in the
louder part of town and it feels like
everything's surreal.
When I get old I will wait outside
your house
cos your hands have got the power
meant to heal.
How do you do...
"Till Death Do Us Part" by Madonna...
https://youtu.be/49adRF9d8ok
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't
'Cause you don't love me no more
You need so much, but not from me
Turn your back in my hour of need
Something's wrong, but you pretend you
don't see
I think I interrupt your life
When you laugh, it cuts me just like a
knife
I'm not your friend, I'm just your
little wife
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't if you don't
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't
'Cause you don't love me no more
They never laugh, not like before
She takes the keys, he breaks the door
She cannot stay here anymore
He's not in love with her anymore
The bruises they will fade away
You hit so hard with the things you
say
I will not stay to watch your hate as
it grows
You're not in love with someone else
You don't even love yourself
Still I wish you'd ask me not to go
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't if you don't
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't
'Cause you don't love me no more
He takes a drink, she goes inside
He starts to scream, the vases fly
He wishes that she wouldn't cry
He's not in love with her anymore
He makes demands, she draws the line
He starts to fight, she starts the lie
But what is truth when something dies
He's not in love with her anymore
You're not in love with someone else
You don't even love yourself
Still I wish you'd ask me not to go
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't if you don't
Our luck is running out of time
You're not in love with me anymore
I wish that it would change, but it
won't
'Cause you don't love me no more
They never laugh, not like before
She takes the keys, he breaks the door
She cannot stay here anymore
He's not in love with her anymore
He takes a drink, she goes inside
He starts to scream, the vases fly
He wishes that she wouldn't cry
He's not in love with her anymore
He makes demands, she draws the line
He starts to fight, she starts the lie
But what is truth when something dies
He's not in love with her anymore
She's had enough, she says the end
But she'll come back, she knows it
then
A chance to start it all again
'Til death do us part
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