A dear friend sent me this, this morning, and I found
it very powerful... Sharing in the hope that another
might find support within it as well...
(Other than this I've not read anything else from
him, nor do I see this writing immediately on his
site, but I found it and have linked it...)
***
"THE MIDST OF DEATH WE ARE IN LIFE
In Iran, they have been digging massive burial pits
for the dead.
In northern Italy, elderly relatives disappear into
ambulances, never to be seen again, no final
goodbyes. There are no funerals there anymore.
Doctors and nurses go without sleep, work on the
verge of physical and mental collapse.
Here in the UK, cruise ships have docked in London,
ready to be used as giant 2000-bed field hospitals.
We are living in unprecedented times.
So much to process each day. So many feelings to
feel. In our vulnerability, we are being forced to
adapt to a new way of life.
To open our eyes, without getting blinded.
To see the truth, yet stay kind.
Some say this virus is here to awaken and heal the
planet. Some say we are going through a mass
transformation of consciousness. Some say if we can
just shift into the light, fill ourselves with high
vibes, take the right supplements, repeat the right
mantras, the virus will not be able to touch us. Some
say we have manifested the disease with our karma or
negative thoughts. Some say we can stay immune with
positivity and the right spiritual practice.
I don’t know. I am not qualified to comment on these
ideas. I have no conclusions, no answers for you.
I lost my answers long ago, answers only bred
despair.
I found my home in Presence instead.
I can offer no comforting words today.
I can only offer today the way of devastation.
The path of crucifixion.
Allow yourself to be broken, friend. Be ground to
dust in this time of crisis and made new.
Let yourself be made soft, open, childlike, grateful.
Be humbled in the face of the maelstrom.
We are always in crisis.
We live in permanent crisis.
Crisis is the way and the truth and the life.
The only permanence, friend:
Death and rebirth. Death and rebirth. World without
end.
Terrible and ancient energies have been swirling deep
in the Unconscious for so long.
These energies were here long, long ago, aeons before
the current form of crisis.
These circumstances have not created them, only
invited them to emerge.
They are emerging now. The vast terrors of the deep.
A profound, volcanic rage that could tear universes
asunder. Longings, yearnings, dark desires,
unspeakable.
An awesome grief. Yes, the grief of knowing that we
are all going to die. All of us.
Maybe not today. Maybe not this year. Maybe not this
decade.
But one day. One day, death will come.
Yes, the fear of death, rumbling underneath all.
Wild thoughts and majestic feelings of the night we
ignore in times of “normality”.
And then normality shatters, rots, decays, turns to
dust, because it must.
And a part of us wants to run.
Wants to rush to conclusions, false hope, empty
positivity, a new world.
“This is all for the best! We are headed towards the
light! A great and wonderful transformation is
happening! How beautiful it all is!”
But we skip the night at our peril.
Bless the sun, yes, but surrender to the moon. Bow to
the grief in your guts that’s been longing to be felt
for decades. Turn, finally, to the anxiety that’s
always been lodged in your belly and chest, without
trying to fix it, or change it, or get rid of it, or
transform it.
Drop the “positive” façade and embrace the night.
After a lifetime of running, make room in yourself
for the dread, the powerlessness, the dark mystery of
it all, and your wonderful unknowing, and the miracle
of existence itself.
Yes, behold the miracle of life, right where you are.
Bless each breath, each movement of your lungs.
In, out. In, out.
Turn to face the terror and the ecstasy.
In, out. In, out.
One moment at a time, digest the undigested.
In, out. In, out.
You will find no internal enemy.
No truly ‘dark’ thing here.
You will find only a lost little child inside,
crying, “Mother? Father? Are you there? I am scared.
I don’t know what’s happening. I cannot hold myself
today. Will you hold me?”
We may very well be in the early stages of a mass
transformation of consciousness.
We may be undergoing a global awakening.
This may all be for the “best”, ultimately.
I don’t know.
But there are horrors to face and feel, too. There is
the night-time to pass through. Great terrors
rumbling inside all of us, only waiting for our
compassionate attention.
By all means, keep busy. Fill your time. Start new
projects. Find ways to relax and recharge and help
your fellow humans.
Stay positive, wash your hands, do what you can to
strengthen the immune system.
But don’t forget to surrender to the horror of it
all.
Don’t forget the night-time. The pulsating, swirling,
mysterium tremendum of existence.
The emptiness and the despair.
The overwhelming shock and awe of life itself. Each
and every moment of it.
And death rumbling underneath it all, all our
projects, big and small.
And life is intertwined with death, always, and death
renders each moment of life exquisitely fragile,
precious, naked, whole.
And there is a little child inside of you, utterly
bewildered by it all.
Will you take their hand?"
- Jeff Foster
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