My hope was this would be of help to some.
How to Stop Emotions from Controlling Your Life
by Nicole Taffs
OM Times
Emotions are designed by nature to be fleeting. They are meant to
rise to the surface of our bodies to be felt, acknowledged, and
released, once and for all. Emotion just wants to be recognized.
Biologically, emotion means to prompt us for action, give us
important information about our surroundings, motivate us and help
us communicate to others.
However, most of us have learned to ignore this internal guidance
system and avoid ‘negative’ emotions altogether. We have learned to
unconsciously shut down our body’s internal processing system
when we start to feel any signs of vulnerability, fear, or rejection. We
stop our bodies from allowing these natural emotions to rise up and
convey their message. We do this when we overuse television, social
media, alcohol/drugs, or partake in any addictive behavior.
Another common way we avoid emotion is by distracting ourselves
with meaningless activities. Shopping and amassing material goods
are the most common ways we distract ourselves in first world
countries. Although denying emotion is prevalent in our world today,
we can’t ignore the substantial consequences we incur from doing
so.
When we deny ourselves the ability to feel unpleasant emotions, they
don’t just go away because we haven’t paid attention to them. We
actually end up holding these emotions in the cells of our bodies,
because they were not able to run their biological course. The body
will store any emotion that is not acknowledged, as a way of
preserving it, so it can fulfill its function at a later time.
But emotion is not designed to be stored in the body. The very act of
pushing away emotion causes our bodies, and minds, to weaken.
Our bodies can and will slip into illness and disease because of this.
Anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, and shame are a few common
emotions we tend to push down and carry with us. This is where the
phrase ‘what you resist, persists’ comes into play. Not acknowledging
these emotions encourages them to rise up over and over again,
because they have not fulfilled their purpose yet. Remember-
biologically, they are supplying us with information.
So when these same emotions persist, we must realize we can’t stop
them from rising up. These emotions will continue to gain power (and
presence in our bodies) until we process them. But ultimately, no
matter how powerful they feel, they are simply emotions. They are
not something to fear.
We are capable of feeling them, even extreme emotions, without
allowing them to hurt us. We must experience what they feel like in
our bodies, interpret their message and then watch them vanish…for
good. For this is the natural function of all emotion.
How to Process and Release Overwhelming Emotion
Step #1: Give Permission
In a quiet place where we won’t be distracted, get comfortable and
take a few cleansing breaths. When it feels right, we can give our
bodies permission to bring up any emotion necessary. A firm
affirmation “It is safe to experience this emotion” sends a direct
instruction to the mind and body, who are intimately connected.
Step #2: Scan The Body
Become an observer. Scan the body from head to toe. This scanning
is less about doing and more about awareness. The body will talk to
us if we are listening. Notice any place that draws our awareness.
Does it feel different? Constricted? Hot or cold? Tingling or painful? It
may be subtle or it may be loud. Pinpoint the area that we are feeling
drawn to. (Our organs are common areas we store unprocessed
emotion, i.e. the liver, heart, stomach, etc.)
Step #3: Feeling The Emotion
Place our hands on the area of the body that we are noticing the
most. Take a few long inhalations and exhalations. We will begin to
feel the stored emotion. Breathe. Allow the emotion to rise. We may
begin to feel very uncomfortable. This feeling has caused us to shut
down in the past, so we may experience fear at this point. Try to
observe it and release any thoughts that arise from the fear. We are
practicing allowing the feeling to be there. Accept it and lean further
into it. Sadness, anger, regret, fear, humiliation, or any number of
emotions may rise up. Follow our body’s lead; we may want to cry,
stretch, scream, or move in a certain position. Witness the body,
accept the feeling, release any thoughts and lean into the emotion.
Step #4: Find The Origin of Feeling
We now have the option to take this one step further. We may want
to stop after Step #3 if we are feeling overwhelmed. If not, we can
ask ourselves the question “What is this emotion related to?” The
emotions we carry with us stem from unhealthy beliefs we hold.
These beliefs may look like “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m unlovable,”
or “I’m not safe.” Continue to remain quiet, breathe, and hold our
hands on the feeling.
We may begin to think of an event or time in our life that has caused
us these emotions. Specific themes, situations, or people may come
to mind. Recognize and contemplate these connections. If a limiting
belief did come to mind, be sure to let it go. We can do this by stating
something like “I am worthy” or “I am loved” or “I am safe.” We can
use any statement that resonates with us.
Step #5: The Release of Emotion
Whether we have discovered the origin of the emotion or not, it is
now time to release it. Emotions want to be felt and acknowledged in
order to be released, and we have done just that. Also, remember–
no feeling is final. We can thank our bodies and our emotions for
communicating with us. We can show love and gratitude to
encourage our body to open up again in the future.
Discovering the limiting beliefs that are responsible for particular
emotions is the quickest way to ensure the emotion is released
permanently. So, if we have not discovered the origin of the emotion,
it will likely rise again. But every time we practice these steps, it
becomes easier for us to discover, process and eliminate these
powerfully persistent emotions and limiting beliefs.
We learn how to feel emotions as they arise, and most importantly,
not carry them with us to drag us down and skew our perspectives.
Ultimately, we will feel lighter, freer and happier for it.
About the Author:
Nicole Taffs is a writer who blogs about turning sensitivities into
assets for TheSensitiveLife.ca. After struggling as a highly sensitive
empath, she began her journey towards self-acceptance, developing
new beliefs, and turning her sensitivities into gifts that serve others
and well as herself. Nicole is also certified in holistic nutrition,
reflexology, and reiki. It excites her to travel near bodies of water,
camping, spending time with her family and spooning her dog in bed.
Facebook-www.facebook.com/thesensitivelifeca Twitter
www.twitter.com/nicoletaffs12
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