Birdlip, January 8, 1944
NOTE ON THE STUDY OF LOSS OF FORCE
The conception of force is an essential idea in the Work. In order
to awaken a man must have force: without force he cannot awaken.
The conception of force can be best understood if it is studied from two
angles. The Work says that a man loses force in a great many specific
ways which it mentions, that he gains force by work on them, and that
he creates force by the act of Self-Remembering.
Let us study loss of force. We are told that we can only begin to
awaken after much effort and long struggle, and that this is due to the
fact that life wants us to stay asleep for its own reasons. This means
that life prevents us from conserving force, or, put the other way, life
takes our force. Since we are nothing but a mass of habits, life forms
very early in us various habits of losing force, sometimes very complex
ones. So we lose force mechanically, just as we do everything else
mechanically. It is very difficult to see how we lose force. We have to
view ourselves in the light of new knowledge—to exchange our old
ideas for new—in order to realize what is continually happening. A
person may lose force in a flash, just because of touching a negative
emotion. In the Work, which is long, we begin to realize that we are
faced by this mass of habits, that is not us. This is a painful experience
and it is unnecessary to enter into it unless one is convinced that there
is something to reach.
Now, to awaken, anything anti-mechanical may help. Self-observation
is anti-mechanical and must come before everything else. But it is in
non-identifying that the main key lies to preventing loss of force. Every- -
act of non-identifying saves force. We are speaking of force necessary
for awakening. If we identify with everything, inner and outer, we
cannot have force for doing or understanding the Work. The Work will
remain far away as a vague cloud. After a time one begins to notice
that one is asleep. That is, one begins to notice that one has lost force.
At the same time one notices that the Work and its ideas seem very far
away. When one begins to have a barometer of this kind, it is possible
to study in more detail what it is that causes loss of force. Although the
causes of loss of force can be arranged in general categories, that apply
to everyone, such as negative states, each person has particular causes
that must be observed personally in the greatest detail and reflected
upon with the greatest care in the light of the new understanding that
the Work gives. Otherwise there is no sincerity with oneself, upon which
alone can anything be built within oneself. Nor can there be any centre
of gravity established by the influence of the Work, and so nothing will
reach us that belongs to Real 'I'.
All this belongs to the necessity of valuation that is frequently spoken
of. Without valuation of the Work there can be no sincerity with it,
nor can there be a definite inner perception of loss of force. That is,
a person will not notice distinctly that he is asleep, although he may
notice that the Work seems far away. It is very interesting to begin to
notice the sources of loss of force and the conditions connected with
them. There are certain trains of thought, for instance, that cause
loss of force, and it may take some years before you see why. And it
often happens that things you thought quite harmless and even admir-
able cause loss of force.
Now to recall briefly that other angle—what creates force. It is the
act of Self-Remembering that creates force. The opening of the mind
to the act and the meaning and significance of Self-Remembering and
the accompanying separation from all one's usual ideas of oneself,
from one's usual small feelings and internal considerings—this actually
creates force. So one gains force by every act of non-identifying because
one prevents its loss, and one creates force by Self-Remembering.
Now you will see that it is necessary to isolate oneself from the
action of life. But to understand what this means in a general sense,
and what it means for each of you in a particular sense, is not something
given us ready-made. It is only gradually that one begins to see. How
impatient some people are about the Work. I sometimes marvel at
people expecting to reach in a short time states that demand a life-time
of work before they can be attained. There is always something outside
and something inside that a person should try to isolate himself from.
What does it mean to isolate oneself? You can say "insulate" if you like.
If life takes all force and keeps us asleep it is necessary to isolate oneself
from at least some of its various powers over us. Some people are
always upset about something or other—about something that they
think very wrong. Let us say they are politically upset, or morally
upset, or religiously upset, or hygienically upset, or, simply, just always
upset by everything. They lose force. That is, in these ways life robs
them of all force for awakening. They think, however, that they are
doing right. This is not a good thing to think mechanically. When you
feel you are right you may be sure you are asleep. But of course life
robs us of force in many other ways. We are not important in the
Ray of Creation. We are living on a mere point in the Milky Way which
is billion-sunned and there are billions of Milky Ways. Yes, we are
very small. But there is a chance. To have this double-feeling is a
form of Self-Remembering.
Now as regards Self-Remembering, which is the means of actually
creating force—you remember the First Conscious Shock and the
energies resulting?—there are many ways of Self-Remembering.
But they all depend on the feeling that there is something else, that this
life on this extremely bad planet is not explicable in terms of itself.
There is something else. We then meditate on the Octave from the
Sun, until it becomes a living thing in our mind, and speaks to us.
Then perhaps we begin to see what "isolation" means. However, we
have moments in which we feel that the future will surely be better.
But there are two futures, one in time and one in scale, one horizontal
—the other vertical and always there, just above our present state.
There are many forms of Self-Remembering. You have to get out of
your own way, to get out of your own light. Since we are different at
different moments, Self-Remembering is different at different times.
The "Sly Man" knows this. He does not always practise the same
method. To do so is to make it mechanical. What is mechanical is
useless for the Work. He moves, as it were, forward and then backward
and then forward, and so on. In any case he experiments. He notices
what was and is no longer useful and invents some other way—and so
on. Some time we will speak of "Sly Man". But everyone should above
all things think of and study and try to self-remember each day. Try
to get out of your own way. Try to let something get in that cannot
because you are in the way. Can you stop the noise of yourself for even
a moment? Can you get out of the ordinary feeling of yourself? Can
you become no one for a moment to yourself? Or, by contrast, can you
feel the intense reality of yourself? Can you feel I in all you have to do,
for a time? All these are different ways of remembering oneself. There
are many other ways, but try to discover one for yourself, to begin with,
and get to know the taste of it. Then you will know more distinctly
when you are asleep. We are trying to awaken to another level of life.
We believe this is the real meaning of our existence. But to awaken
we must have force. Whatever we do consciously remains: whatever
we do mechanically is lost to us. So we have to learn how to live in life
and not be eaten by life. Identify with life and give all your force to
life and you cannot awaken, just as you cannot if you identify with your-
self. How rich that young man felt himself, how identified he was with
all his virtues and talents and excellences. He was told to go and sell all
he had before he could awaken. He was very sorrowful. Think what it
would mean to cease to ascribe to yourself everything you do and think
you are—that is, to sell all your possessions. Who can imagine what
this really means? Have you caught even a single glimpse yet of its
meaning in regard to yourself? If so, you will begin to realize where your
force goes every moment, how it is used and why people are asleep
without knowing it.
|
|