Where do we get virgin wool from?
-
Ugly sheep.
Need cheering up? Start a fight with somebody when
they have the hiccups
Me and my wife, we've decided that we don't want to
have children. So anybody who wants one can leave us
their phone number and address and we will bring you
one.
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy
bug, apparently 9 out of 10 people there suffered from
diarrhea.
I can’t stop thinking about that tenth person who
apparently enjoyed it.
Policeman: I'm very sorry, sir, but it looks like your
wife got hit by a bus.
-Man: I’m aware of that, but Sara has a wonderful
personality.
A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that
couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps
holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for
her, why can’t you do the same?”
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”
My wife whispered in my ear today that she’s not
wearing any underwear. Oh boy, now she’s already
growing forgetful.
--------------------------------
Two elderly ladies, Mabel and Evie, meet at a café for
a nice cup of coffee and a cake.
After a while, Mabel peers closely at Evie and says,
“Evie, it looks like you have a suppository in your
ear!”
“What?”
“It looks like you have a suppository in your ear,
Evie!” says Mabel a bit louder.
“Oh,” checks Evie, “you’re right! Drat, well, at least
I know where my hearing aid is now.”
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